Wednesday was a bad day for me. The asshole at work was even more annoying and pathetic than usual. I woke with a migraine and dealing with her made it worse. I eventually told the manager that I was leaving. That night I went to pick Jeffrey up at school and as I was leaving the building I didn't realize there was a step outside the door and I fell... mostly on my head... but most of the front of my body is either bruised or cut. Needless to say it was no slight bump on the head. Somehow I was able to drive home but I lost it on the way. The build up of everything that's been happening got to me and I burst into tears. The physical pain I can deal with, but the emotional stress of everything finally boiled over.
There's been so much going on lately that I haven't told anyone about. I just don't feel comfortable doing so right now. Mark would be the one I would talk to but, well that whole situation is compliated. After nearly a month of nothing he came onto Xbox last night and invited me to play a game with him. I figured it was a mistake but joined anyway since I've been playing the game a lot lately. Turns out it wasn't a mistake and eventually we started talking. Again things started to click with us... it made me realize how much he understands me on some levels. I care for this man a great deal, but I felt myself holding back last night. I mean, that could be because my hands are screwed up after my fall but I'm not sure. I'm also not sure when we will talk again, but now I realize I don't have to be down on myself if we don't.
I keep thinking that I've seen 3 films in the theatre recently, but I can only think of 2. I know I saw Wolverine and Star Trek... but I can't remember if there is anything else I saw. I guess because I wanted to see so many of the recent releases I'm blanking on a possible third. I saw Watchmen as well but I'm not sure if I am counting that one in my head. OMG I'm loosing it here. :P
In the past month I have begun forgetting to eat and drink. I'll be writing and look up and it's 5:00 and I've not eaten lunch. Or suddenly it's midnight and I never ate dinner. I'll be goofing off on Xbox and the same thing happens. I've finished my bottle of water and never opened the new one. I don't think this is a good thing. My doctor would actually freak out if he knew it was happening.
I've also had a lot of trouble sleeping. I mean, I normally have a lot of trouble with that, but it's gotten much worse. I went to bed at nearly 2:00 this morning and yet I was wide awake at 6:00. If I try to rest during the day I can't get to sleep. Doesn't matter how tired I am, I just can't sleep. My music isn't helping nor are my audio CDs. I'm afraid that my doctor is going to put me on meds for this problem. This would be bad, most meds react badly with my body/metabolism and I've been working really hard lately to get back to the way I was before my surgery. I don't know if I could handle steps backwards again.
Next month is my birthday. Blah... bad day all around. June will be a sh|t month for me as it is, but I'm sure my birthday will make it even worse.
Well anyway... tales of woe and weird. As always, I love you all. Thanks for listening.
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